| (no subject) |
[08/09/08 //02:18 pm] |
| [ | mood: |
| | excellent! | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Belle & Sebastian: Step Into My Office, Baby | ] |
Okay, the Olympics opening ceremony? CRAZY.
I just got a Zune, because my old MP3 player was way too small and stopped working properly. The thing itself is pretty damn sexy, but the software had me swearing and hitting the table a lot for a few hours before I figured it out. And it still shits up on me all the time. Stupid Microsoftware.
So You Think You Can Dance finale! I was surprised, but not totally unhappy. I expected Katee or Twitch to win, sure, but Joshua definitely also deserved it, too. Man, what a great season. I think my family's actually going to get it if it comes out on DVD, we enjoyed it so much.
Started watching Dexter, as per the recommendation of one of my art teachers. It's good so far (five episodes in), but there aren't any characters that I have a real attachment to, which might be trouble in terms of keeping my long-term interest. I mean, I do like Dexter, and well enough, but everyone else is just kind of "eh." And while we're talking about TV shows, I should catch up on Chuck. TELEVISION OWNS MY SOUL.
Art has consisted mostly of feature/figure practice, but I should try for more actual character art during the school year.
Which, speaking of, starts up in two weeks. I think. Oh shit? Wait. Yes, definitely oh shit! I haven't done any of my Gov/Econ AP homework. |
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| (no subject) |
[08/04/08 //03:36 pm] |
| [ | mood: |
| | anxious? | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Thom Yorke: Analyse | ] |
Okay, so summer art school is over and holy wow it was a blast and a challenge and stressful and fun as fucking hell. I'd like to think that I learned a lot but in general I am still very dissatisfied with my art. That's probably not going to change for a while.
I haven't written anything in so long...I don't really know what to catch up on so screw that, I just won't. Um.
OZ. I have just discovered this television series and it is pretty much my dream prison drama. I've always been interested by crime and punishment and all that, and this show just pushes all the right buttons for me. Also I don't have cable, so I usually get fairly clean television... Oz is almost refreshing in how graphic it gets, but for the most part it's written in a mature and plot-conscious way so it's not nearly as gratiutous or obnoxious as it could be. All in all, thumbs up. Awesome series so far (I'm in the middle of the fourth season).
Jeez, I watch too much TV. I don't know how I'm going to get any schoolwork done this coming year with all of the show I need to keep track of.
Oh, I also saw The Dark Knight (this is spoiler-free). Thought it was maybe twenty or thirty minutes too long or not paced as well as it could have been (started getting antsy about two hours through), but thought it was a good movie on the whole and of course loved the Joker. This is the first time I've ever been able to take him seriously as a character and a villain in any sort of take on him, so props. My only real complaint is that I don't think they dealt with Harvey Dent as well as they could have, especially his part at the end, but you win some, you lose some. But I liked it a lot, so whatever.
Man, I suck at socializing. I should start talking to people again soon, though, now that the excuse of summer school is over. INSECURITY. |
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| (no subject) |
[07/15/08 //08:24 pm] |
| [ | mood: |
| | odd. | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Radiohead: Faust ARP | ] |
Gene Simmons can kiss my ass.
In other music-related news, I will not be able to go to the Wolf Parade concert this Thursday. Not happy at all.
Time is moving weirdly right now. My art classes are too long, but the weeks are too short. What do you mean, there are two weeks left in the course? This is my first time drawing on deadlines. I'm not doing as well as I hoped I would, but I'm not doing badly or anything. Be good to get used to this, though.
Emotions have been so indistinct lately! I never no idea exactly what I'm feeling like, or what to make of it. I think I might be going through some sort of, I don't know, developmental epiphany in how I think...or it's just, you know average teenage angst. I don't know what it is. We'll see, as always.
Still cursed with clumsiness and zits. Every day, another spot, another fuble with a folder or a clipboard or a cd player. Oh, the glorious years of golden youth.
And, um, other stuff that I don't want to go into. Really, this entry was just an excuse to post that wonderful video up there.
[edit:] Oh, I saw WALL-E! It was amazing, of course. Okay, that's all. |
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| (no subject) |
[07/05/08 //02:15 pm] |
| [ | mood: |
| | worried. | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Wolf Parade: Kissing the Beehive | ] |
Apologies for not checking peoples' posts or comments and stuff. I've been busy busy busy.
And I have never been so zitty in my life. Yes, you needed to know that. But anyways, I think I'm more stressed out than I let myself believe. I'm good about suppressing shit like that, becausde most of the time it's just a matter of me needing to suck things the hell up and just trying harder and besides, whining about is even annoying to me. Especially since it's almost always about the same things. Art angst ahead, so skip it if you'd like.
I don't know if the art classes are helping much. Figure drawing is helping me tremendously in terms of proportion and anatomy and weight, but style-wise, I'm still stuck. And seeing everyone else who are so comfortable in their styles or know what they want their styles to look like makes it all even harder sometimes. I wisn I wasn't so insecure with the way I draw when I'm not consciously concentrating on it. I hate the way my sketch lines stutter across the page and aren't straight or smoothly curved and don't connect properly and about a billion other things, blah blah blah. I don't know whether that's simply the natural way my body draws or if it's something I can actually fight and improve on. I hate not being able to be happy with my art either way I draw...it seems like I can only draw with either a derivative style or a "natural" one that I dislike. Either way, it's irritating as hell. But as always, just gotta keep going at it. I know I'm not a bad artist, and that being conscious about what I'm doing wrong is going to help me become better overall, but this damn style issue is really discouraging every time I start drawing. I wish this were easier for me to get over.
On a happier note, I hope you all had a happy Fourth of July. I did. I like fireworks.
Okay, now back to my stupid bird animation. This shit takes for-fucking-ever. |
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| (no subject) |
[06/28/08 //09:31 pm] |
| [ | mood: |
| | sore. | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Arcade Fire: Rebellion (Lies) | ] |
After spending a week in the city, I have come to the conclusion that I am the most awkward person in the world. And clumsy, it's so bad. Everyone else is always so with it and in contrast I am embarrassingly all over the place all the time. Such a spaz. And social skills, what are they?
The art classes are intense. And challenging. I wish I was better but that's what I'm there for, right? I can't believe that there are two more months of this to go. I hope I can keep up with the crazy pace of things. And by things I mean animation class because holy hell, it takes so much work to animate the stupidest, shortest things. Also the teacher is intimidating; he's worked twenty-five years or more in the industry and has worked on all sorts of big ass pictures like Pocahontas and the Little Mermaid and all sorts. Hopefully I'll do well. Or hell, even decently.
Been trying to practice piano and guitar lately. Mostly simple songs, as I can't read sheet music too easy and I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing with the guitar. I have the worst time keeping a consistent tempo, and my hands are too small to play chords properly, but it's fun, and is pretty good at calming myself down when I'm stressed. Except when I get frustrated when I totally fail at it afterwards, of course. When it comes to music I can play by ear and improvise decently, I suppose, but I don't think I'll ever really master anything. I want to play too many different instruments! I can sing pretty well, I play intermediate amateur flute and tinwhistle, I'm working on bullshitting how to play the guitar and piano, and someday I would really like to learn the accordion and the violin. I should've started out with those two but I was ambivalent as a kid and went with woodwinds instead. They sound pretty sweet, but you can't sing while playing them. I'm having a hard time finding modern accordion music teachers in the area, though.
After listening to it for about a week, I've really warmed up to Wolf Parade's new album. I was a little surprised at how quiet At Mount Zoomer was compared to Apologies to the Queen Mary at first -- I was expecting it to be similarly heavy and swaggering and badass but this cd was much more delicate, more precise, almost, than the previous one. Still damn good, though, once I got over the differences. I'm sure I'll find favorites in that album if I give it some more goes.
ALSO. Arcade Fire in an elevator. That magazine made my day. Do I love this band or do I love this band? They are among my top list of those that I'd kill to see live. They are so INTENSE all the time. |
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| (no subject) |
[06/25/08 //05:30 pm] |
| [ | mood: |
| | drained. | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Sunset Rubdown: Stallion | ] |
Man, it's only halfway through the first week of summer school and I am so tired. Commuting from Sunnyvale to San Francisco is a pain in the ass, expecially with weighty sketchbooks and portfolios and a metric shit ton of animation paper. It's pathetic how sore my shoulders are.
HOWEVER. I'm also excited as hell, and holy shit if high school couldn't end sooner (stupid senior year...) But I'm also panicking about that somewhat because even though my family's fairly well off (average middle class or so), my dad's just been laid off and my mom will probably lose her job sometime next year. My sister still has her college classes, and my brother has both middle and high school and the whole shebang to go through, so money's a serious concern for my parents now. My heart is set on Academy of Art University, but it's expensive. My plan is to transfer GE class credit from SFU to AAU, where I'll be taking art courses at the same time, and dorm or room somewhere with someone... but my parents want me to stay at home after graduating high school and take community college courses at De Anza for a year before going to San Francisco because it'll be cheaper and more convenient. I know I need to keep an open mind about my options...but I can't help it, I'm already so cabin feverish to get the hell out of here and go to the city that the idea of waiting at home for another year just breaks my heart. I should probably go fill out some scholarships, but I can't imagine that I'd ever win one. I can acknowledge that I am good at writing and art, but I don't think I'm exceptional. I know it can't hurt to try, but I don't know, I don't want to waste my time or something. And I guess I should probably take harder classes next year (AP English and Pre-Calculus and shit), but I really want to concentrate on art then too, and my parents will be super pissed if I get C's or something because of that, even if I take those college level courses. Christ. It's so damn hard to balance all this bullshit out. I'll see if I can get my thoughts a little more organized about this stuff later, but right now I'm too tired to stress over it any more.
Gotta come up with a concept for my two comic book illustration classes now. I'm usually always so full of ideas, so why is it that I can't think of anything? Not awesomesauce at all.
[emo edit:] SHIT. I should just never check deviantART at all. It's just depressing as hell. I hate how easy it is to down myself on my art. Too bad it is so impossible to ignore the internet. |
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| (no subject) |
[06/22/08 //08:21 am] |
| [ | mood: |
| | frustrated. | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Sunset Rubdown: For the Pier (And Dead Shimmering) | ] |
Last week was excellent. Won't have another week like that for a while, though.
I want to draw, but I don't want to see what comes out. I'm always both excited and depressed about art at the same time. It's so stupid, and it's always the same things every time. You'd think I'd be able to change by now.
My mom turned fifty today and started crying when my brother and I went to give her the cards we drew this morning. I don't think they were happy tears. We gave her hugs and tried to be comforting but it was awkward. She's been really stressed out recently. Probably at least partly my fault. Shit.
Summer art school starts tomorrow. I am scared and stoked. I hope it will help.
I read Scott Pilgrim and Street Angel today. They were some swell comics. That's all. |
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| (no subject) |
[06/10/08 //10:36 pm] |
| [ | mood: |
| | paranoid. | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Radiohead: Street Spirit | ] |
Emotions are strange things. I've been moody up and down and sideways and I'm not sure if they're actually there or if I just think that I should be sad or frustrated so I make myself feel these things. Either way, it's odd.
Am I the only person who edits whatever they write obsessively? I do this a lot. I erase what I will and rewrite every sentence I put down on paper or the internet until it looks okay to me to present to others. In some aspects this is a good thing, I guess, but I think it also shows how anal and uncomfortable I am with who I am right now, that I have to be so careful with every single word I say. And how's that for a weirdly structured sentence?
As much as I'd love to bury my head in the sand and live a blissfully ignorant existence, things don't work that way. So I'm looking to get a little more knowledgable about political/social/worldly affairs in general, and I was wondering if anyone knows of a good place to start? A site or something that is easy to check, relatively simple to understand, and of course trustworthy to state the facts as to what they are as possible. Much thanks.
I wish coherency wasn't so hard for me. My mind is always all over the place. I'm like this in person, too. |
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| (no subject) |
[06/09/08 //05:52 pm] |
| [ | mood: |
| | odd. | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Radiohead: Idioteque | ] |
"Good music is a joyful thing, no matter if it's slow or what some people call depressing. Whatever, when it works, it's joyful."
--Thom Yorke
Music makes me happy. It's almost too easy, too simple of a thing to say, because everyone says that, but that doesn't make it any less true at all. Music inspires me so much. Music makes me want to do more with myself. It makes me want to jump up and shout, "HEY! I want to make something beautiful, too!" and then try my damndest to do just that. It isn't just noise.
I've been on a serious Radiohead and Sunset Rubdown kick recently. |
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| (no subject) |
[05/31/08 //12:08 pm] |
| [ | mood: |
| | sleepy. | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Wolf Parade: Shine A Light | ] |
One Piece 501 (501!). A chill ran down my spine. I kid you not.
I just spent almost a hundred bucks on art supplies for this summer's AA courses. Granted, they were gift certificate credit from a showcase that I won, but for someone who can't draw on regular computer printer paper because he doesn't want to waste it? I guess I'm going to have to get used to drawing with good quality materials. It's scary, stop laughing!
Joined the ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) artgrind challenge community, because apparently I am more masochistic than I think I am. We'll see how that works out. I still haven't haven't finished a picture in weeks, and I've been chucking out (well, recycling, so don't worry) truly epic amounts of shit sketches lately. See why I don't draw on expensive paper?
( Notebooks and fax paper forever. )
But it's okay! Because I have a metric assload of awesome new (and old, actually) music to listen to (thank you, internet): Frog Eyes, Sunset Rubdown, Swan Lake, Fifths of Seven (what can I say, I love Spencer Krug's stuff), British Sea Power...Still need to get around to listening to Libera and Gogol Bordello's latest albums, as well as the Neutral Milk Hotel and Mika that Glenn gave me...and there's a new Wolf Parade CD coming out in a month that has my name on it, too. Oh, man. MUSIC. <3 |
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| (no subject) |
[05/28/08 //09:44 pm] |
| [ | mood: |
| | melancholy. | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Radiohead: Jigsaw Falling Into Place | ] |
I could watch this kid forever.
School and art and everything are being sort of stressful right now. So... sometimes you need to take a step back into something beautiful to get your mind off of everything you're doing wrong. Took a serious listen to Radiohead's In Rainbows today. I love how layered this band's sound is. While at first a few songs seems a bit over the top and not as subtle as what I'm used to from them (Bangers and Mash, for one), I have no doubt that they'll grow on me later. Most of them I love already. I love music like this, music that you can listen to over and over and still find something new and inspiring in it. Also, here's an interview with the band that was really pleasing to read. Made me smile, anyways. Sometimes I hesitate at reading about my favorite bands or artists because I'm afraid that they'll turn out to be jerks and it'll mess up their art for me.
I've been painting lately for school. Like, with real paint. I'm not very good at it, but it's pretty calming, which is nice. It's a little awkward for me to look at right now...my drawings are just realistic enough for traditional fine art techniques to sort of work, but simplified/stylized enough to throw the whole thing off. It's... odd.
Everything's either moving too fast or too slow right now. Or the wrong things are coming too fast and the right things are too slow. There's less than a month left of school and summer-itis has set in. I need to make myself do my homework.
BUT WHO THE HELL CARES. I HAVE A SLINKY AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY. |
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| (no subject) |
[05/26/08 //12:31 pm] |
| [ | mood: |
| | sleepy. | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Flogging Molly: Black Friday Rule | ] |
I haven't really drawn anything for a week. I don't know what's wrong, but I need to stop being such a wuss about art.
I have, however, been reading a lot of good comics lately. New Avengers was an amusing read until Civil War happened, but at least it got Iron Fist on the team later. Iron Man Extremis and Ultimate Human both had some of the most amazing art I've ever seen, and were really freaking badass, because, well, Warren Ellis. Immortal Iron Fist was extremely well-written despite the fact that no one seems to respect Danny Rand at all, and I loved reading about all the former Iron Fists throughout history. Also read Ed Brubaker's run of Daredevil, and Matt Murdock is one of the superheroes that I respect (and, uh, fear) the most. Daredevil's a crazy son of a gun for sure, but I defy anyone to read it and not wish that they were as cool as he is. Also, his costume is perhaps one of the most practical that I've seen a superhero wear so far, and I love that his boots are the lace-up boxing kind, as a little nod to his dad.
School's almost out! Just gotta survive through a few more weeks of assignments and finals, and then I'm free! And then, uh, summer school and senior year. But I doubt that it could get any worse than what this past year was like, so I'm still looking forward to it.
...SUMMER.
[edit:] There are no words for how excited I got when I thought heard Thom Yorke sing a line about the TARDIS in Radiohead's Up The Ladder. IT IS TRUE. And I thought I couldn't love this band any more than I did already. |
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| (no subject) |
[05/21/08 //06:54 am] |
| [ | mood: |
| | anxious. | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Journey: Don't Stop Believing | ] |
For someone who says that they don't like much manga, I've sure been reading a lot of it lately. Went through all of Bleach last week, and in general I give it a solid pretty good. Not as gorgeously epic as One Piece or as well-thought-out and clever as Fullmetal Alchemist, but the story is entertaining and the characters are endearing, and it could be a lot worse. The art's not bad either, though I've noticed that Kubo's backgrounds are often blank and that a lot of times his pages have too few panels so the story moves slower overall. And, uh, I hate the way that he draws ears. And some of the zanpakuto designs look really useless. But that said, he's good at drawing pretty much any kind of intense negative expression, and making dudes with long hair still look like dudes (most of the time). I like a lot of the characters (Isshin, Kon, Ikkaku, Renji, Ichigo, Hiyori, Kensei, Hitsugaya as of now) but not quite the same way that I love my favorites in OP or FMA. Baby, it's not you, it's me.
Also caught up with Supernatural. Though my first reaction to the season finale involved a lot of flailing, I am completely relaxed about it all because it's not like he's not gonna come back or anything. It's just a matter of seeing how that happens.
Went to the movies for the first time in forever this weekend and saw Iron Man! Insert incoherent happiness here.
Art has been going very poorly these past couple of weeks. I'm sort of in a constant state of panic about my art and everything I draw just looks off and awkward and really amateurish to me. I try to remind myself that I'm only seventeen and have a year of high school left to work on this shit before I go to college with it, but it's hard not to compare myself with other artists I've seen online who were simply amazing (and still are) when they were my age or younger. I get discouraged so easily, but damned if I'm not going to give up. There's nothing to do but try, though sometimes bitching about it now and then helps.
The only thing more annoying than biting the inside of your cheek is having bleedy blisters on the back of your ankles. |
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| (no subject) |
[05/13/08 //08:02 am] |
| [ | mood: |
| | geeky. | ] |
| [ | music: |
| | Sunset Rubdown: They Took A Vote (And Said No) | ] |
Got seven minutes to spare? Go watch MUTO, an animation by a graffitti artist named Blu (Joey, you'd get a kick out of this if you haven't seen it yet). It's captivating and surreal and all sorts of amazing.
And after about forever, new Avatar! A good episode for Sokka, where they get his balance of comic relief and serious smartness just right. Sokka and Zuko are fun to watch as a team, too, and they play off each other nicely. And the commiseration! "My last girlfriend turned into the moon." "That's rough, buddy." The ladies were especially kickass in this episode, too (though I can hear the Zuko/Katara [?!] fans screaming from here).
Also tried to watch Tengen Toppen Gurren Lagan and it was amusing and endearing and full of sweet, sweet fanservice up until episode eight when it broke my heart and I had to stop because it just wasn't the same.
Watched Master & Commander again for about the fifth time last weekend! BEST BUDDY MOVIE EVER. The British Royal Navy's where it's at, bitches. (But what's up with captains being named Jack all the time? Jack Sparrow, Jack Aubrey, Jack Harkness...? Are there any more? That'd be a crazy crossover.) |
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